What sound does a witch make when she drives off?
You’ll find the answer below – and there are plenty more one-liners for you to enjoy.
Popular Northern Irish comedian Jimmy Cricket keeps all his fans and followers entertained with a regular joke posted on Twitter.
Here’s another selection of his latest quips for you to enjoy…
I’ve just found out that 50% of anglers are using the wrong fishing bait… if this gets out it could open a can of worms!
It’s great getting older… you get to see what happens next.
I took a parcel into the post office and the fella behind the counter weighed it… he said: “This is too heavy, you need another stamp.” I said: “Another stamp will make it even heavier!”
The man that runs the local shoe repairs shop hasn’t been feeling too well lately… but I’m happy to say he’s on the mend!
Blackpool is one of the cleanest of our seaside resorts… even the seagulls use the public toilets.
Our window cleaner has got the whole street sown up… nobody else can get a look in!
I’ve just seen a very rare painting of Chief Sitting Bull… it’s the only one where he’s standing up!
Last night I ate my pillow, this morning I munched on a cushion and tomorrow I’m going to gorge out on my sofa… you just can’t beat comfort food.
Okay followers, come closer. How’s this one…. what sound does a witch make when she drives off? Broom! Broom!
I hope the chancellor puts money into small businesses and the housing sector. It’ll mean window cleaners will be able to get on the property ladder.
I told my friend it was a mistake to have plastic surgery. It was as plain as the nose on his forehead.
James Bond once had a lucky escape from an earthquake! He was shaken but not stirred.
They’ve asked me to do a reality programme about a group of people sharing a boat on a canal… I told them I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole.
See more of funnyman Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket
Also read – From the archives: Jimmy the Butlin’s camp comic!
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