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Global warming & Fox’s Glacier Mints – more Jimmy jokes 150 150 mhamer

Global warming & Fox’s Glacier Mints – more Jimmy jokes

Funnyman Jimmy Cricket tells regular jokes onlineGlobal warming is one of the subjects tackled humorously by comic Jimmy Cricket in his latest series of one-liners.

The ever-green entertainer regularly posts jokes on social media to amuse all his fans and friends.

Here is another selection of Jimmy’s latest gags.

Wow! A slice of Charles’ and Diana’s wedding cake sold for £1,850. That’s amazing… I wonder do you get a cup of tea with it?

I’m thinking of entering my Uncle Patrick in the next Olympic Games in Paris… Whenever he bangs his thumb, there’s nobody throws a hammer further than he does.

That was amazing to see 13-year-old Sky Brown win a medal at the Tokyo Olympics… Next thing you know they’ll be having a baby event to see who can throw their nappy the farthest!

When I found out we had more opticians in the UK than anywhere else in Europe, it was a real eye opener.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has just headed off in a rocket into outer space… It’s a long way to go to deliver a package!

I’ve just seen a very unusual football match in the park. Wait for this, two teams of traffic wardens… It was all square after extra time so it went to fixed penalties.

Our postman fell today… he took a bit of a knock.

Ever since they closed the salt factory we’ve all been feeling the pinch.

I still think Humpty Dumpty was a good stand-up comedian even though he was a bit off the wall.

I’ve just sent off for a new hearing aid and now I’m waiting to hear back.

This global warming is getting serious… I’ve just bought a packet of Fox’s Glacier Mints in the shop and when I got them home, they were melted!

See more of funnyman Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket

Also read – From the archives: Jimmy the Butlin’s camp comic!

More Twitter fun from your favourite comedian! 150 150 mhamer

More Twitter fun from your favourite comedian!

Funnyman Jimmy Cricket tells regular jokes onlineHere are some more of those hilarious one-liners from famous funnyman Jimmy Cricket.

The popular Northern Irish comedian regularly posts jokes on social media to entertain fans and friends.

And the following is a selection of Jimmy’s latest gags from his Twitter account.

Lots of fish can’t believe it when they’re caught… Some of them are gutted.

Movies about hurricanes leave me cold!

I’ve heard that occasionally Thomas the Tank Engine would lose his temper…that’s not such a bad thing, it’s good to let steam off every now and then.

Never have a barney with an octopus…You’ll only have him up in arms!

Two television weathermen had a barney in the pub. One accused the other of stealing his thunder!

I feel sorry for the people of Jersey….If President Macron cuts off their electricity, they’re going to have to watch the tele in the dark.

I don’t always talk about space exploration… Maybe once in a blue moon.

I’ve just got a new fridge!… How cool is that?

The plot thickens!

It’s okay for Boris to say we can hug each other again, but I’ve just hugged the blonde lady who lives down the road and she slapped my face!

I think Barbie should marry Ken. I mean where could she find another fella like that? He’s out of the top drawer.

I think the Beeb should hire more ex-football referees… That way the public would see they’re not afraid to employ whistleblowers.

I worked for a bad tempered photographer once. Every time he got mad he would throw the camera at me… I still get flashbacks.

I’ve just written a play about a man who keeps emptying a small portion of soil into his neighbour’s allotment every day… As the story unfolds, the plot thickens!

Read more of funnyman Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket

Also read – From the archives: Jimmy the Butlin’s camp comic!

Come closer, there’s more… Twitter jokes from Jimmy 150 150 mhamer

Come closer, there’s more… Twitter jokes from Jimmy

Jimmy Cricket tells regular jokes online

Famous funnyman Jimmy Cricket regularly posts jokes on social media to entertain fans and friends.

And here are a few of those the popular Northern Irishman has posted on Twitter recently.

It’s been a tough 12 months for businesses….I’ve just heard the company that makes Alka-Seltzer has been dissolved….the firm that makes food mixers has gone into liquidation…Are you ready for the third?..The shop that sells aqua equipment has just gone under!!!

Don’t worry if you can’t get to the hairdressers today…. ….You can always catch the highlights later on in the week!

I’m just writing a play about Thomas Edison…. The action takes place before he invented the light bulb, so its going to be a dark piece.

Even though the lockdown is easing, I think we need to be careful. I still don’t feed the pigeons in the park….Some of them could be carriers!!

I’ve always wanted to swop jobs with a window cleaner for a day…It’s on my bucket list.

I know why we don’t see bald eagles….. Because the hairdressers are still closed.

I think social media is ideal for train spotters….Well, it gives them a platform.

I think when we do get back to normal, ventriloquists should be the first acts allowed to perform…Especially if the dummy wears a mask.

Well, I’ve worked out a road map for my career. The only thing is emmm…. I’m in a wee bit of a cul-de-sac at the moment.

Read more of Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket

Also read – From the archives: Jimmy the Butlin’s camp comic!

Come closer folks – more jokes from Jimmy 150 150 mhamer

Come closer folks – more jokes from Jimmy

Jimmy Cricket has continued to keep our spirits up during the ongoing coronavirus restrictions.

In the run-in to Christmas and over the festive period, Jimmy used social media to keep those topical jokes coming!

Here are some of his funny one-liners:

When the lockdown kicked in, I started walking two miles every day. Yesterday I arrived in Aberdeen.

I’ve just attended a lockdown marriage on Zoom…..The wedding cake had four tiers!

Jimmy Cricket is just 10 away from completing a century of his special daily video messages.

It’s a shame you’re only allowed one bubble for each household. I was looking forward to having a bath on Christmas Day.

We had a very safe Christmas dinner this year. Even the turkey wore a mask.

One thing about this virus, it helps you re-evaluate your priorities. For instance we don’t have to keep up with the Jones’s, cause the Jones’s are in lockdown like the rest of us.

It’s hard to get away from this virus – I used to wake up to the birds singing… now I hear them sneezing!

Things are so quiet at airports these days that the security people are searching each other.

The only thing bothers me about comedy drive-in shows is that if you get a tough heckler he might just keep bumping his horn.

Century mark

With the help of Mrs Cricket, Jimmy produced 100 daily video messages during the coronavirus restrictions last spring and summer.

The famous Northern Irish comedian hit the century mark in July.

He had been sending all his fans and friends togetherness posts each day as the world continued to fight coronavirus.

The UK government first announced on 23 March last year it was imposing strict new curbs on life in the UK.

Jimmy had been posting the videos on social media with the message: “We can do this together!”

Also read: Regular Twitter jokes told on video during during coronavirus pandemic

Coronavirus pandemic: We can do this together!

Watch video of Jimmy’s lockdown lament

Also read: Over and out as Cricket team hit century of videos

And there’s more… Twitter jokes from Jimmy 150 150 mhamer

And there’s more… Twitter jokes from Jimmy

Jimmy Cricket on Twitter

Jimmy Cricket, the well-known Northern Irish comedian, regularly uses social media to tell some of his famous one-liners.

And here is a selection of some he has posted on Twitter over the past few months.

Come closer folks… so I’m looking at a shrivelled-up fried egg on my plate and I’m thinking, you’re not what you’re cracked up to be!

They keep putting up give way signs. Where will it all end?

My uncle Patrick has fallen on his feet. He’s got a painting and decorating shop and he’s now selling Brexit wallpaper… it’s got a soft border!

People have their time in history. For instance, Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone, but if Thomas Edison hadn’t invented the light bulb before him he wouldn’t have been able to find it.

I’ve just been offered a job advertising sleeping bags… it’s all very hush hush at the moment.

So I said to Mrs Cricket:  Why do we need a new vacuum cleaner?” She said: “‘Cause the old one sucks!”

It was pouring down when we got to the pet shop yesterday. In fact, it was raining cats and dogs and guinea pigs!

I’ve got a bump on my head. It’s my own fault for trying to swim in the bath!

I love Dr Billy Graham’s quote about Heaven: “When they say I’ve died, don’t believe them. I haven’t died. I’ve just changed address.”

My cousin Rufus has got the sack from his job as a railway station master because of a complaint from a lady train driver… she said he’s been sending out the wrong signals!

Read more of Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket

LEP column: Here’s to the king of comedy writers 150 150 mhamer

LEP column: Here’s to the king of comedy writers

Jimmy Cricket's Lancashire Evening Post columnJimmy Cricket remembers legendary comedy writer and close friend, the late Eddie Braben, in one of his recent newspaper columns.

Edwin ‘Eddie’ Charles Braben was best known for providing material for Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise. He also worked for David FrostRonnie Corbett and Ken Dodd.

He was credited with changing the profile of Morecambe and Wise, helping to turn them into one of the most popular and enduring comedy acts in the history of British entertainment.

Belfast-born entertainer Jimmy, who has lived in Rochdale for many years, recalls in the Lancashire Post how Eddie started out as a market trader, selling fruit and veg from a stall in Liverpool’s St John precinct. In his spare time, he made up jokes.

Jimmy says how nervous he was when he first met Eddie, adding: “That was the start of a beautiful friendship that spanned two TV series, five radio series and even a book of letters from my Mammy.”

Northern Irish comedian Jimmy developed a lasting friendship with Eddie who sadly died aged 82 in May 2013. Below is a newspaper article in which Jimmy paid tribute to his old pal at the time.

Jimmy Cricket pays tribute to Eddie Braben in the Rochdale Observer

Catch up with Concordia show in photos 150 150 mhamer

Catch up with Concordia show in photos

Jimmy Cricket and fellow performers at the Concordia Theatre in Hinckley, Leicestershire

Jimmy Cricket’s recent performance at the Concordia Theatre in Hinckley, Leicestershire, was captured on film.

Jimmy Cricket performing at the Concordia Theatre in Hinckley, Leicestershire

Matt Holt took these photographs, which are courtesy of MGL Media.

It was the second of two variety shows, which well-known entertainer Jimmy did with Midlands crooner Michael George.

The other one took place at the Trinity Arts Centre in Gainsborough, Lincolnshire, seven days earlier.

They each featured Michael, his wonderful eight-piece band, his troupe of dancers, a supporting female vocalist, and comedian Jimmy as the special guest star.

The Concordia Theatre show is an annual event, which Michael holds each year to raise money for charity, with all proceeds going to Leicestershire-based  Hope Against Cancer.

Jimmy said: “I enjoyed working with Michael at both the Gainsborough and Hinckley shows and found his enthusiasm for performing just wonderful to see.”

Jimmy Cricket performing at the Concordia Theatre in Hinckley, Leicestershire