Show business? More like monkey business!
A planned television sketch starring Jimmy Cricket alongside a chimpanzee made a monkey out of the producer!
Comedian Jimmy tells the funny story in his latest newspaper column.
Writing in the Lancashire Evening Post, Jimmy says…
My past may not have been murky, but it certainly got a bit muddled at times.
In the early 90s I hosted a children’s TV series called The Joke Machine, produced by an ITV regional company at the time called Border Television.
Previous hosts had been The Krankies and Stu Francis and the series did exactly what it said on the tin – we went round schools, in the Carlisle area, asking the boys and girls to tell their favourite jokes to camera.
Then we invited the schools in question to the studio, where I performed sketches with guest artistes, to add a bit of variety to the mix.
I remember a boxer sketch with a famous fighter of that time called John Conteh and another one where TV comedy actor Paul Shane who played Ted Bovis in the hit TV comedy sit com Hi-de-Hi! and I dressed up in budgie costumes… as you do.
Our producer, Henry, approached me one day to say he’d booked a chimp to do a sketch with me.
Yes, you heard right readers – chimp as in chimpanzee.
“What exactly is the concept of the sketch, Henry?” I enquired.
“We don’t need a concept,” retorted Henry.
Unbounded enthusiasm
“Chimps are naturally funny. They steal every show they go on
“Remember those Tarzan movies we saw in the cinemas when we were kids.
“His best friend was a chimp called Cheetah. He was hilarious, he even had his own fan club!”
Henry’s unbounded enthusiasm washed away all my scepticism and he finished by saying: “We’ll put you and the chimp together at a table, put a few snacks in front of you both and let the cameras roll.”
On the day of the shoot, the chimp turned up very dapperly dressed in his trousers, braces, and T-shirt with his minder who placed him beside me at the table and Henry shouted “action, roll ’em!”
So, what happened, I hear you saying to yourselves.
Well, absolutely nothing happened.
The chimp just sat there staring at me and I stared straight back at him.
Bunch of bananas
After five minutes of this deafening silence, Henry rushed out of his director’s box and on to the studio floor barking instructions at me.
“Pinch one of his biscuits! Tickle his toes!”
All of which I duly did, but to no avail. The chimp didn’t move a muscle.
In fact, I was half expecting him to lean across and say: “Let’s play it dumb and we’ll divide the dosh between us!”
Eventually, an exhausted – and disconsolate – Henry shouted “cut!” and went for a lie-down.
I went for a cup of tea and the chimp headed straight to his minder who was waving a bunch of bananas.
I felt so sorry for Henry. The chimp must have cost him a few bob.
Perhaps we got him on a bad day? That’s showbiz!
Jimmy’s autobiography available now!
Don’t forget that Jimmy’s official autobiography is still on sale.
Memoirs Of An Irish Comedian tells the heart-warming story of Jimmy’s illustrious life and career – told in his own words.
The paperback costs £11.99 and is available at online retailer Amazon here.
One pound from the sale of every book goes to Mary’s Meals.
The charity supports feeding projects in some of the world’s poorest communities.
Also read – Autobiography: Buy The Jimmy Cricket Story now!
