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The Joke Machine

Show business? More like monkey business! 150 150 mhamer

Show business? More like monkey business!

A planned television sketch starring Jimmy Cricket  alongside a chimpanzee ended being simply monkey business!A planned television sketch starring Jimmy Cricket alongside a chimpanzee made a monkey out of the producer!

Comedian Jimmy tells the funny story in his latest newspaper column.

Writing in the Lancashire Evening Post, Jimmy says…

My past may not have been murky, but it certainly got a bit muddled at times.

In the early 90s I hosted a children’s TV series called The Joke Machine, produced by an ITV regional company at the time called Border Television.

Previous hosts had been The Krankies and Stu Francis and the series did exactly what it said on the tin – we went round schools, in the Carlisle area, asking the boys and girls to tell their favourite jokes to camera.

Then we invited the schools in question to the studio, where I performed sketches with guest artistes, to add a bit of variety to the mix.

I remember a boxer sketch with a famous fighter of that time called John Conteh and another one where TV comedy actor Paul Shane who played Ted Bovis in the hit TV comedy sit com Hi-de-Hi! and I dressed up in budgie costumes… as you do.

Our producer, Henry, approached me one day to say he’d booked a chimp to do a sketch with me.

Yes, you heard right readers – chimp as in chimpanzee.

“What exactly is the concept of the sketch, Henry?” I enquired.

“We don’t need a concept,” retorted Henry.

Unbounded enthusiasm

“Chimps are naturally funny. They steal every show they go on

“Remember those Tarzan movies we saw in the cinemas when we were kids.

“His best friend was a chimp called Cheetah. He was hilarious, he even had his own fan club!”

Henry’s unbounded enthusiasm washed away all my scepticism and he finished by saying: “We’ll put you and the chimp together at a table, put a few snacks in front of you both and let the cameras roll.”

On the day of the shoot, the chimp turned up very dapperly dressed in his trousers, braces, and T-shirt with his minder who placed him beside me at the table and Henry shouted “action, roll ’em!”

So, what happened, I hear you saying to yourselves.

Well, absolutely nothing happened.

The chimp just sat there staring at me and I stared straight back at him.

Bunch of bananas

After five minutes of this deafening silence, Henry rushed out of his director’s box and on to the studio floor barking instructions at me.

“Pinch one of his biscuits! Tickle his toes!”

All of which I duly did, but to no avail. The chimp didn’t move a muscle.

In fact, I was half expecting him to lean across and say: “Let’s play it dumb and we’ll divide the dosh between us!”

Eventually, an exhausted – and disconsolate – Henry shouted “cut!” and went for a lie-down.

I went for a cup of tea and the chimp headed straight to his minder who was waving a bunch of bananas.

I felt so sorry for Henry. The chimp must have cost him a few bob.

Perhaps we got him on a bad day? That’s showbiz!

Jimmy’s autobiography available now!

Don’t forget that Jimmy’s official autobiography is still on sale.

Memoirs Of An Irish Comedian tells the heart-warming story of Jimmy’s illustrious life and career – told in his own words.

The paperback costs £11.99 and is available at online retailer Amazon here.

One pound from the sale of every book goes to Mary’s Meals.

The charity supports feeding projects in some of the world’s poorest communities.

Also read – Autobiography: Buy The Jimmy Cricket Story now!

Read more about Jimmy’s life and career here.

All his tour bookings and other events can be found here.

Nicholas Parsons: TV and radio star was ‘a remarkable man’

The late Nicholas Parsons is the subject of Jimmy Cricket's latest newspaper column.

Actor, presenter and broadcaster Parsons died in January at the age of 96 after a short illness. Here's how BBC News reported his death. Tributes were paid to him from across the entertainment world, including from the likes of Stephen Fry and Graham Norton. Comedian Jimmy worked with him on The Joke Machine, a children's sketch series which aired as part of CITV in the UK. In his Lancashire Post column for March, Jimmy recalls one of the sketches involving Parsons and paid tribute to him. He recalls: "Although it was only a short sketch, it rained incessantly that morning and everybody had to run for shelter.
'Unforgettable few hours'
"The nearest refuge for me was the car. So I promptly parked my Rickshaw up against a lamppost and jumped into the passenger seat. "There, over a bacon butty and carton of tea each, Nicholas told me the story of his astonishing career." Jimmy says it was "an unforgettable few hours with a remarkable man".
Parsons also appeared on the Benny Hill Show for several years and fronted ITV's popular Sale of the Century. His other TV appearances included Have I Got News For You, while he played master of ceremonies on Radio 4 show Just a Minute. Also read: Nicholas Parsons: A great career and will be sadly missed Below is how the BBC broke the news of Nicholas Parsons' death.

Nicholas Parsons: TV and radio star was ‘a remarkable man’ 150 150 mhamer
Nicholas Parsons: A great career and will be sadly missed 150 150 mhamer

Nicholas Parsons: A great career and will be sadly missed

How BBC News reported Nicholas Parsons' death on Twitter

How BBC News reported Nicholas Parsons’ death on Twitter

Jimmy Cricket has been recalling the children’s TV show in which he appeared with Nicholas Parsons.

Broadcaster Parsons died earlier this week at the age of 96 after a short illness.

Here is how BBC News reported his death.

Tributes were paid to him from across the entertainment world, including from the likes of Stephen Fry and Graham Norton.

Comedian Jimmy worked with Parsons on The Joke Machine, a children’s sketch series which aired as part of CITV in the UK.

The first series featured the Krankies while the third and last featured Jimmy.

Each short episode was packed with jokes. The programme lasted from 1985 to 1989, according to the IMDb website.

Jimmy tweeted: “Nicholas (Parsons) and I did a kids’ TV show.

Sale of the Century

“We were waiting at traffic lights. I dressed in Chinese gear with a rickshaw and Nick in a posh car.

“The joke was that when the lights turned, the car stalled and I shot ahead.

“He’s had a great career and will be sadly missed.”

The episode involving Parsons is believed to have been broadcast on 26 May 1989.

Parsons had hosted Radio 4’s Just A Minute since its inception in 1967.

He presented his last programme on 23 September last year.

He also appeared on the Benny Hill Show for several years and fronted ITV’s Sale of the Century.

His other TV appearances included Have I Got News For You.