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snow white

Never play Monopoly with a boxer… more Twitter one-liners 150 150 mhamer

Never play Monopoly with a boxer… more Twitter one-liners

Funnyman Jimmy Cricket tells regular jokes online

Why should you never play Monopoly with a boxer… ?

Comic Jimmy Cricket reveals the reason in his latest series of one-liners.

The ever-green entertainer regularly posts jokes on social media to amuse all his fans and friends.

Here is another selection of Jimmy’s latest gags – including the light-hearted answer to the Monopoly question.

I know why Houdini was such a great escapologist… he had a get-out clause in his act.

I’ve just been offered a politically correct version of the pantomime Snow White… in it, the seven little fellas come on singing: “Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it’s off to woke we go!”

When my Uncle Tom woke up and found that all the hay had been pinched from his barn, he said: “That’s the last straw!”

I’ll never forget the time I wrote a book on wrestling. On the way to the publisher I slipped twice. That was the day I had 2 falls and a submission.

So I was driving along and I saw this fella broke down by the side of the road. I said: “What’s the trouble?” He said: “I’ve run out of petrol.” I said: “Well, I’ve got a full tank, follow me!

Little Bo Peep has shortened her name… oh aye, you’d be hard put to get a peep out of her these days.

Folks I’ve got this theory and I’d like to share it with you… come closer, you know all those reckless drivers that weave in and out of traffic… I think they’re all heading to the same pub… the Cutters Inn!!!

Learning to fry an egg

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the railway track… because he wanted to lay it on the line.

I’ll never forget the time I sent a birthday card to Neil Armstrong… he was over the moon!

It took me ages to learn to fry an egg… then I finally cracked it!

Never play Monopoly with a boxer… he’ll only knock your block off!!

I was in a restaurant yesterday and I just couldn’t decide which fish to have from the menu… I was caught between a rock and a hard plaice!

See more of funnyman Jimmy’s jokes and keep up to date with everything he’s doing at https://twitter.com/jimmy__cricket

Also read – From the archives: Jimmy the Butlin’s camp comic!

 

Green cake with wellies on it! 150 150 mhamer

Green cake with wellies on it!

Jimmy Cricket was presented with an Irish-themed cake when he returned to perform at the Billingham Forum Theatre near MiddlesbroughJimmy Cricket was presented with an Irish-themed cake when he returned to perform at the Billingham Forum Theatre near Middlesbrough.

The famous Belfast-born entertainer appeared in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the North East theatre over the Christmas and New Year period. Sellout crowds watched the pantomime; in fact, the biggest attendances ever for a panto at the venue.

And as he arrived to perform again at the theatre at the start of April, he was greeted with a green cake with a pair of wellingtons on it – Jimmy is renowned in his acts for wearing wellies on the wrong feet!

The cake was made by Stockton resident Yasmin Calvert whose mum, Janet, went to the stage door of the theatre to hand it to Jimmy.Jimmy Cricket appeared in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the North East theatre over the Christmas and New Year period

Jimmy said: “I was overjoyed on receiving it as it’s one of the best that anyone has made for me. I was particularly impressed with the detail of the decoration and amazed at how it was produced all in green!

“A big thank you to Yasmin for the efforts she went to in making this culinary delight for me.”

His comedy show was a triumph as almost 400 people came to see Jimmy on his return.

He invited the Heritage Dance School to perform a  few numbers during the show and added: “I was  very pleased with their efforts as they slotted in really nicely.”

Jimmy pays tribute to panto team 150 150 mhamer

Jimmy pays tribute to panto team
The entire panto cast including Yvonne Patterson who took on the role of Wicked Queen and the dancers from the Stockton Heritage dance studio

The entire panto cast, including Yvonne Patterson who took on the role of Wicked Queen and the dancers from the Stockton Heritage dance studio

Jimmy Cricket with Malcolm Dixon, who played the head dwarf, and whose wife Anita was the production’s stage manager

Jimmy with Malcolm Dixon, who played the head dwarf, and whose wife Anita was the production’s stage manager

Famous funnyman Jimmy Cricket has been reflecting on the successful pantomime in which he starred over the festive season.

The Northern Irish entertainer played the comedy role of Muddles in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the Billingham Forum Theatre near Middlesbrough.

Also in the cast was Emmerdale’s Kurtis Stacey (he plays Alex Moss in the soap) who featured in the role of the Wicked Henchman.

In total, a record 30,000 spectators came through the theatre’s doors to watch Jimmy and the cast over several weeks.

And it consistently had excellent reviews from people who see the show during the Christmas and New Year period.

Jimmy said: “I would like to pay tribute to the wonderful cast that had been assembled and express my gratitude to the excellent production team that put the show together led by producer Duggie Chapman.

Jimmy Cricket and Kurtis Stacey

Jimmy and Stacey

“I am also grateful to all the wonderful staff at the Forum Theatre under the watchful eye of manager Derek Cooper.”

He also acknowledges the fantastic cottage (scene photo below) he stayed at over the duration of the pantomime which was situated within Abbey Hill Cottages and is run by Paul, Smokey and Mary.

Jimmy liked the North East venue so much that he will bring his stand-up comedy show to the Forum Theatre on the afternoon of Sunday 6 April. To book tickets for Jimmy’s return visit with his comedy show, visit the theatre website here.

Jimmy Cricket stayed at a cottage in the countryside during the panto

Festive Liz gets Wellie award 150 150 mhamer

Festive Liz gets Wellie award

Jimmy Cricket with marketing manager Liz CooperA lady who gave Jimmy Cricket and his panto colleagues a great Christmas send-off is the January winner of the Golden Wellie award.

Liz Cooper is the marking manager at the Forum Theatre in Billingham where the famous Northern Irish entertainer appeared in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs over the festive period.

Jimmy said: “Liz went above the call of duty on Christmas Eve and decorated with festive trimmings the dressings rooms occupied by the cast of the pantomime. She was ably abetted in this feat by her daughter.

“In 25 years of doing pantos across the UK, this is the first time that I have encountered the theatre’s staff going to the length of ensuring the cast have a Christmas send-off  and this special gesture certainly got everyone into the Christmas spirit.”

Jimmy, whose festively decorated panto dressing room is pictured below, was so impressed and grateful for what Liz had done that he wanted to acknowledge her efforts by awarding her the Golden Wellington (above).

Jimmy Cricket's panto dressing room

Bingo – it’s Jimmy Cricket! 150 150 mhamer

Bingo – it’s Jimmy Cricket!
Jimmy Cricket with Mark Chanoller, a member of staff at the Top Ten Top Bingo club in Rhyl

Jimmy with Mark Chanoller, a member of staff at the Top Ten Top Bingo club in Rhyl

Jimmy Cricket took a break from his busy pantomime schedule to headline a show at a bingo club just five days before Christmas.

The visit to the Top Ten Bingo Club in Rhyl, North Wales, was on one of Jimmy’s only days off from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in which he had been featuring on Teesside.

During the night, Jimmy was greeted by a supportive crowd as the majority of those who had come for the earlier Christmas games of bingo had decided to stay behind to witness some festive fun from him.

He said: “I was happy to take on this additional commitment as everyone present in Rhyl was in festive spirit and it made for a really nice atmosphere.”

Returning to record-breaking venue 150 150 mhamer

Returning to record-breaking venue
Cast members of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs from 7 December to 5 January at the Forum Theatre in Billingham

Cast members of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Jimmy Cricket is to return to the scene of his record-breaking pantomime.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs attracted sellout crowds – the biggest attendances ever for a panto at the Billingham Forum Theatre near Middlesbrough.

It consistently had excellent reviews from people who watched the show over the Christmas and New Year period.

Northern Irish funnyman Jimmy played the comedy role of Muddles in the festive production. Also in the cast was Emmerdale’s Kurtis Stacey (he plays Alex Moss in the soap) who featured in the role of the Wicked Henchman.

Jimmy liked the North East venue so much that he will bring his stand-up comedy show to the Forum Theatre on the afternoon of Sunday 6 April.

To book tickets for Jimmy’s return visit with his comedy show, visit the theatre website here.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was clearly loved by people who went to see it, with many positive comments being posted on the social media website, Twitter.

In addition to those included in previous stories in the Cricket Times section of this website, here are some more plaudits for Jimmy and co.

Vicki Taylor ‏@vickitaylor84
Fab panto at the forum jimmy was great 2nd time I’ve seen him!! @jimmy__cricket @kurtisstaceyKS good fox song!!

Kiana_Horan X ‏@HoranKianaMofo
@jimmy__cricket you were brilliant in Snow White xx

Katie ‏@Katies5SOS
@jimmy__cricket You were amazing on Saturday doing Snow White, such a laugh, hopefully see you next year :)

andrew purvis ‏@jillybear75
@jimmy__cricket the whole family came to see you today in panto and my son who is 5 couldn’t stop laughing at you!!

James ‏@captainjim74
@jimmy__cricket Saw u in Snow White today- me & my 5 year old boy cried laughing together at the same gags!great family show, thanks v much!

Jessica Playfor ‏@jessicaplayforX
@jimmy__cricket had me howlin tonight (despite been front row and practically on the stage ourself)

Jayne wilkins ‏@Jewilkinsboro
@jimmy__cricket @kazbradellie @joannemurphy33 watched you as a kid and laughed , just seen you at forum and laughed , c u on 6th April :) xx

Vickie Gatenby ‏@VickieGatenby
@jimmy__cricket “that cardigan thing”.. “It’s a jumper muddles ;)” haha.. Good show tonight!! Thanks for the high five!! :)

Graeme ‏@graemeblewis
@jimmy__cricket hey muddles!! great performance tonight in Snow White!! Family and I loved it!!

Chris Slasor ‏@theslasor
@victoriaholtom @jimmy__cricket you were fantastic in Snow White at Billingham Forum tonight! Well done, the whole cast were brilliant :)

And there’s more… 150 150 mhamer

And there’s more…

Photo from the panto rehearsals weekMore plaudits have been handed to Jimmy Cricket and his fellow cast members who are appearing in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the Forum Theatre in Billingham near Middlesbrough.

The famous funnyman plays Muddles, while Kurtis Stacey (who plays Alex Moss in ITV’s Emmerdale) is the Wicked Henchman in the traditional festive family pantomime.Photo from the panto rehearsals week

There have been more messages on Twitter, the social media website, with people saying how much they have enjoyed the panto – which runs until Sunday, 5 January –  and here are two of the latest:

Kidsreadwritereview ‏@kidsrwreview: What an amazing production of Snow White at The Forum. An absolute hoot! Five stars @kurtisstaceyKS @jimmy__cricket chris askins

‏@askinsbean: @jimmy__cricket took my little ones to panto for first time today and we all loved it jimmy at his best as always well done to you all

Photo from the panto rehearsals week Read some of the previous comments about the show here and get all the latest news and reaction about Jimmy by following him on Twitter.

For more information or to book a ticket for the panto, visit the Forum Theatre website or ring the Box Office on 01642 552663.

* The photos with this story were taken during rehearsals week for the panto.

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