I wish the new Prime Minister well, but…
New UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer has received some advice from newspaper columnist and famous funnyman Jimmy Cricket.
Now writing monthly for the Lancashire Evening Post on a Saturday, Jimmy warns the PM in his August column: “All your flowery pre-election promises can turn to dust.”
He adds: “It’s not like pantomime where the fairy godmother can change everything with a wave of her wand.”
Here’s is the column in full:
Well, the general election has come and gone readers and, depending on whom you voted for, you’ll either be toasting with a glass of beer or crying into it.
I did hear that a few days before the election that Keir Starmer was seen in our local swimming baths in Rochdale… he was looking for a floating voter!
You see, I never let you down!
I wish the new Prime Minister well, but it’s not like pantomime where the fairy godmother can change everything with a wave of her wand.
A New York mayor once said: “You canvass in poetry and govern in prose.”
In other words, all your flowery pre-election promises can turn to dust in daily grind of day-to-day politics.
Gem of a place
A week before the election, Equity sent out a message to all its members telling us to vote for the candidates who won’t cut funding for the arts.
It’s a difficult one because people have bigger worries.
Like keeping hospitals open and making sure there’s enough police on the streets.
The local theatre isn’t exactly their first priority.
Having said all that, I once got involved in trying to save a theatre.
The Princess Theatre (pictured) above) in Hunstanton is a gem of a place.
It stands proudly, and majestically, in the centre of the town on a slight hill overlooking the sea.
I got wind that the local council wanted to close it.
When I say local council, it was actually under the jurisdiction of King’s Lynn Council, which is about 25 mile down the road.
I politely asked them to think twice about pulling down a beautiful theatre that families could come out and enjoy a live show.
We owed it to future generations to keep its doors open.
After all, I continued, hadn’t the late Princess Diana herself taken William and Harry when they were small to a pantomime theate when they were staying at Sandringham on their Christmas break (I’d known the producer of that panto – Mark Andrews)?
Strong and flourishing
A few weeks later, I received a nasty letter from the leader of King’s Lynn Council, asking me who did I think I was meddling in their affairs before adding caustically: “And who are you anyway? I’ve never heard of you.”
To be honest folks, I was quite taken aback by his bluntness, as I’d always been brought up to think councillors were the pillars of the community.
But you have to take it on the chin. It’s so much easier to do nothing, but if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
I’m happy to say that due to public pressure King’s Lynn Council reconsidered their decision and the Princess Theatre in Hunstanton is still going strong and flourishing.
And there’s more… I’d like to finish on a story I heard recently about a barber who cuts the hair of a florist.
When the florist offers to pay, the barber says: “I’m sorry, I’m on community service and I’m not allowed to accept any money.”
The next morning, when the barber turns up for work,there’s a dozen red roses outside his shop.
When he gives a policeman a short back and sides and tells him his story, the next morning when he turns up for work, there’s a dozen donuts outside his shop.
Then a politician turns up. When he cuts his hair and explains the situation to him, the next morning when he turns up for work there’s a dozen politicians waiting for a free haircut!
Buy Jimmy’s autobiography!
Don’t forget that Jimmy’s official autobiography is on sale.
Memoirs Of An Irish Comedian tells the heart-warming story of Jimmy’s illustrious life and 50-year career.
The paperback version costs £11.99 at online retailer Amazon. It is also available via eBook and audio.
Signed copies (£15.99 including postage and packing) can be purchased on this website here.
It is also available at Jimmy’s live gigs for £10, where Jimmy will also sign it.
One pound from the sale of every book goes to Mary’s Meals.
The charity supports feeding projects in some of the world’s poorest communities.
Also read: Jimmy Cricket’s signed autobiographies now available by post!
The great career of the late comedian Tom O’Connor is remembered in Jimmy Cricket’s latest newspaper column.
